Where have all the cowboys gone?
question by Dan Harris-Warrick, answer by an anonymous incarnation
The Internet Oracle has pondered your question deeply. Your question was:

> Oh Oracle most wise, who could bring a knife to a gunfight and win
> anyway, please tell this lowly supplicant...
> Where have all the cowboys gone?

And in response, thus spake the Oracle:

} First, just to make sure we're clear, I could come to a gunfight with a
} spoon and win anyway. Isn't *that* ironic?
} Hmm, cowboys, cowboys--I had them here a second ago... Ah, here we
} are. Since the main job of the cowboy was to herd cattle from the
} ranches to the various slaughterhouses, the need for them was greatly
} reduced as more of the country was connected via road and rail. Today,
} all the cowboys have changed professions to a modern job that suits
} their skills. Since they can withstand a great deal of monotony, are
} proficient in pointing brainless animals in the proper direction
} (especially when the destination is not in the animals' best interest),
} jump into action the moment any little thing goes awry (which includes
} things being "too quiet"), don't care what they're wearing as long as
} it's comfortable and are willing to shoot someone they don't like on
} sight, they are currently in great demand.
} We now call them tech support.
} And don't be fooled by those namby-pamby city-slickers on "help desk".
} Those fools can't tell a SCSI port from a hole in their head. I'm
} talking real tech support. The guys and girls who'll format a hard
} drive just to show the machine who's boss (especially if it runs any
} form of Windows). I once saw a man quick-draw his leatherman and swap
} out two hard drives and a motherboard before the greenhorn MCSE he was
} facing found the power switch. Some say they've lost their spark from
} the old days, but those who do have never felt the sting of a blood
} sacrifice freely given to the gods of PCI card installation.
} Oh, you want to know how to win a gunfight with a spoon? Just hold it
} up and say "There is no spoon". When your opponent looks at your hand
} to try to figure out what you're talking about (and how to get you to
} share your obviously high-quality stash), you kick him in the
} saddlehorn.
} You owe the Oracle a pair of chaps, a spoon, and a saddlehorn cup.

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